What Do You Mean "We Can't Say 'Black Bags' Anymore"?

'It's political correctness gone mad!' There's a phrase that is thrown about from time to time, one that I agree with, except... I don't really.

What is political correctness? To me, it is a tool which is used to surgecally remove every ounce of humour, freedom, and, above all, humanity from our day-to-day speech. A sick and perverted tool used only by rechid, bastardly people who can't seem to allow the rest of Earth's population to have a mind of their own and use it as they see fit - the sort of people who are offended by the mere existance of oxygen. Seriously though, you can't breathe without someone going into a strop about it. Apparently, you're not supposed to use the word 'midget' because midgets find it offensive, why, what's offensive about it? It's just a bloody word. At first I thought they preferred 'dwarf', but then I thought if they didn't like 'midget' then they're not going to be too crazy about being likened to the seven deciples of Snow White, are they? People would think they only have seven names to choose from when they have babies, some of which are just names of human emotions and feelings. Either way, what's the difference? You've swapped one word for another, that's the humiliation over with now is it? Nobody's going to walk past and say to themself, or whoever they are with at the time, 'look at the size of that' are they? Much of political correctness revolves around opression, especially the racial type. I can't say I've ever wished bad things on anyone due to their race, skin colour, or religious beliefs, but I think the race card is played more often by "coloured" people than every Playstation console ever made combined. If you're living in Britain and are born from a different race, it is racist if a company denies you the opportunity to work for them based on your country of origin and/or the colour of your skin. However, it is NOT racist if they deny you employment because your skills, experience or attitude is not suitable. Whether you're Polish, Pakistani, Romanian, Indian, Chinese, Korean, Spanish, French, German, South African, Ethiopian or British born and bred - if you're not good enough, you're not bloody good enough. Get over yourself, companies aren't built to care about your family history, your circumstances or where you come from - they are built to do a job and make profits, that is it. The whole thing came to a head (at least in my mind it did) when someone informed me that I couldn't say the term 'black bag' anymore. 'What? What do you mean 'We can't say 'black bags' anymore'? It's not a fucking green bag is it!?' They said, without a hint of irony, that it was because "black people" found it offensive.

I think I have found a reasonable solution to the problem. If people are offended by the term 'black bag' then I can't help but wonder how the bags themselves feel about the situation, so, I propose a press conference to be held at all local rubbish depo's around the country to give us a right good insight into how the bags and their human colleagues feel about the alegations that the bags are black and how it is affecting the atmosphere in their everyday lives. Going by what has been said already, I imagine they would be quite upset about the situation and we may be looking at an official trial at a Sherrif Court to gain some sort of justice for the bags themselves and everyone else who has been wrongly affected by this malicious verbal atrocity. To avoid this escalating to unprecidented levels of animosity, I have more propositions planned to ensure this doesn't become problematic in future. I have visions of an advertising campeign for billboards, television, radio, newspapers and magazines encouraging people to unite and see the error of their ways using the slogan; 'Black-out!" How can we be so judgemental in assuming these bags are black when they are quite clearly a really, really, really, really dark grey colour? We should be ashamed of ourselves for not thinking about the feelings of those we are refering to and anybody else involved with them on a regular basis. The only stumbling block I have come accross, however, is arranging a suitable alternative term for the bags. The closest anyone has come to a replacement term is 'bin liner' but there are two things I don't like about that one. The first thing is that it sounds like it could be the name of a new terrorist threat from the middle-east who's strategy invloves planting C4 into/onto wheelie bins and detonating them on collection day. If anything that's going to cause more offence. It also sounds like it could be the name of a bloody ship that the lorrys dump all the rubbish, from around their allocated areas, on to be taken over to Japan where it is rounded up and used to create nuclear energy - not a great advert for democracy.

All sarcastic ideas aside, I think foreigners are slamming down the race card more quickly and more often with every passing minute of every passing day. It is pissing me off now to the point where I would be considered "racist" myself simply because I refuse to let my own race be bitch slapped by a minority of foreigners who think they can enter a country and change every street, every law, every business, and every person to whatever THEY want them to be. Well, it doesn't fucking work like that, if you want to live here then fine, but don't sit and whine about how we live our lives and the laws and standards we have set for ourselves, and don't dare try to change them.

It's one thing to seek equality, but seeking an advantage is something else entirely.

Dick heads.