"I want to be a celebrity!" and FAKEbook...

Ok, after people trying to lodge a number of spanners into the works, to be honest, I'm struggling to work out whether it's the people or the spanners that are tools. Anyway, back to business... or rantness if you prefer.

As many people know, we are in the midst of a dark age. I'm not talking about the economy, as molested as it seems to be. I'm not talking about the possible outbreak of World War III, as unbelievably fun as that will be. I'm not even talking about the arrival of Toms "shoes", as rediculous an excuse for shoes they really bloody are. We are living in an age where everyone wants to be famous... for being a cunt. Yes, those final four words are vital in this rant, because of course we all want to be famous. I'd like to be a famous writer, musician, or comedian, unlikely any of those will happen - the possibility of gaining a career in one of those fields is good, but to be famous for it is a different thing altogether. Many people would like to be famous actors or actresses, but would probably settle for mild success. You see, people were usually famous for displaying a very high level of talent, but now it seems any prick can be famous so long as they are idiotic enough to make an absolute fuck of themselves on national television. 'The Only Way is Essex', 'Geordie/Jersey/Jakey Shore', and 'Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' are prime examples of a hideously moronic form of "entertainment" that has warped the minds of many youngsters. In 'TOWIE', you're talking about a bunch of inbreds who probably don't have enough words in their vocabulary to explain what made them famous. How difficult can it be? They only really need 'fuck' and 'all'. No, gone are the days where you had to be an elite athlete, a god-like genius, or simply brilliant at your art/craft in order to be famous... apparently the requirements have turned upside down and you now have to be an elite wanker, a dick-like bastard, or simply pish at everything to be considered "famous", and now all the kiddies have cought wind of that and are now proceeding to be fucking idiots. What an absolute joke this planet has turned out to be.

Humans wanting to, pretty much, BE other humans has seen a sharp increase in the past few years. It appears that more and more people, mostly female, want to walk, talk, and look like celebrities who already exist. I remember laughing when I saw so many people with red hair after Rihanna dyed her hair red, what in the fuck was that about? Your hair was fine before you went and did that, but now that Rihanna has red hair that means your hair is a piece of shit now does it? Did you think that if you dyed your hair red that it would make you look like her? If you did, you have proven to the world that you are stupid. Dye your hair all you want, but you will never ever be Rihanna. For a start she's not fat as fuck like some of you. Her skin colour is REAL, it's not squeezed onto her from some kind of toothpaste tube. You need to stop trying to be other people and be comfortable in your own skin, some people will like you and some people will hate you, that's just the way it goes I'm afraid. If you want to carry on dressing up like every fuck nugget that prances onto your TV screen then you go for it, knock your pan in, but know that you'll only be serving me and a host of others a big fat barrel of laughs.

I think Facebook should change it's name to Fakebook, if only to get across a point. You see, what a lot of users don't seem to be grasping is that everything about Facebook is fake. If you really thought that you had 500 friends, you are retarded, let me remind you of what a friend is. A friend is a person you know very well and someone you are comfortable spending time with on a regular basis with the feeling being mutual. It is someone you interact with in flesh and blood every other day and share with them real experiences and make memories you will take to your grave. Let me remind you what a friend is not. A friend is not some random fud who decided to click a make-believe button saying 'add as friend' and then "like" a couple of virtual status updates, photos and the fact that your relationship is complicated. That, believe it or not, is someone who is so discontent with their real life that they seek a better one in the fantasy world of the internet, nothing more and nothing less. You don't have 500 friends, you have 500 morons, some of which you've never met who have chosen to add you randomly, some of which you have met once or twice who just happened to remember your name for the sake of boosting their own numbers, and some of which you do know, but don't even like.

Another reason to switch to Fakebook, is that the network is just an opportunity for some people to be the dickhead they can't be in real life. People's attitudes change over the internet, some get tougher and cheekier, others get flirtier and more revealing in the shadows of the world wide web, all because they don't have it in them to be themselves in the flesh. They try to make themselves seem better than they are by making shit up to gain undeserved attention from anyone interested. Some people even started to copy my idea of 'facebook status ranting' to get attention, the funny thing is they're not very good. I predict that a lot of people's facebook passwords are "imlivingalie".

Nice one.